Thursday, February 19, 2015

The life of the chronically late

I am typically 5-10 minutes late every morning This is not because I have poor time management skills or for a lack of planning. Anyone who knows me well has probably seen my planner at one point or another. It is color coded with stickers and post its and has every single activity, class, social outing, date, and Bible study written in it. I sometimes even write in time to do nothing. Yes, I plan to do nothing. I have a Google calendar that is synched up with three other people's, I use my paper planner, I use spread sheets, I hand write schedules, etc. So where do i go wrong? How is such an organized person so late? Well, here are five reasons why I am almost always late.

1.) My body does not function before 10 am. 

No, really. I purposefully do not schedule class or work before 10. It's terribly unfortunate that my church has an earlier service (9am Sunday school, 10am worship). I've never been a morning person. When I was little and I had to go somewhere early in the morning, mom would just wrap me up in a blanket like a burrito, put me in the car, and drive me to wherever we were going. Everyone was much happier this way. Unfortunately that is no longer an option. When I do have to get up "early," I am greeted with nausea, stomach pain, and headaches. I will sit in the bathroom in tears for up to an hour just trying to pull myself out of the autonomic crisis my body has awoken in. It isn't fun. All my life, people have teased me about how late I sleep and about not being a morning person. The fact is, my body is made differently. It's not that I'm lazy; it is that I need extra time to even begin functioning.

2.) Half hour bathroom trips happen daily.

I will spare you the details, but having EDS means having stomach and bowel issues. Most often, these issues present themselves most troublesome first thing in the morning. The earlier the time, the worse the problem. It is not uncommon for me to sit in the bathroom, trying really hard not to get sick, for around 30 minutes. Don't worry though, my cat keeps me company.

3.) Unforeseen circumstances happen often enough that I should see them, but I don't because they are always different. 

This isn't necessarily related to the time of day, but you know that bad things always happen when you're in a hurry to start your day. So maybe I can't find my pain medication. (NEVER leave the house without your pain medication!) Or my knee dislocated and now I need to wrap it. Or I have a headache so I have to figure out which medicine I last took and pick a new one, rotating between ibuprofen, tylenol, and aleve. Or the day's activities require a crockpot of food or a heavy bag, neither of which I can carry, so I have to ask dad to load my car for me. Or maybe once I finally leave the house I can't find parking on campus, a problem for a normal student, but a worse problem for a student with handicapped parking. And once I finally park, I have to find a friend to carry my crockpot or heavy bag. Orrrr I get sick at school (that's a FUN one). You see, I just never know what the day holds. Life is always an adventure.

4.) I have to be slow and careful.

When I'm running late, I can't always hurry. I can't run up and down the stairs, throw on clothes, hop in and out of the shower, brush my teeth in two seconds, or eat the first thing I see in the fridge. No, I have to think about each decision, even when I am running behind. I plan my routine to minimize how many times I have to walk down the stairs. If I take a shower, do I have time to dry my hair? Because if not, I will pay for the wet hair when I am sick in a few days. If I take a shower, I have to eat first because standing up in the heat could make me dizzy and pass out or throw up. Wait, what do we have to eat? Eggs take too long to make. Orange juice hurts my stomach unless I have something else with it. Nutella is too sweet. Granola bar it is. Every decision counts and I try not to waste bad decisions on things that will make me have an awful day.

5.) Sometimes, I just don't wake up.

Sleep and I have an unsteady relationship. Sometimes, I can't fall asleep, even after lying in bed for hours. Other times, I am so exhausted, I fall asleep on the couch watching TV. I can sleep anywhere when I don't want to. Once, I fell asleep in the library on some chairs I pushed together and was late for class. And yet, this morning I woke up to go to the bathroom after only five hours of sleep and just couldn't sleep more, no matter how hard I tried. So when I actually do fall into a deep sleep, it's as if my alarm doesn't exist. I don't hear it. I don't remember it going off. When I finally do hear the tenth alarm, it's way past when I wanted to get up and I am already late. I set alarms in ten minute intervals for an hour an half. Not kidding.

So all you punctual people, this is why I, self proclaimed sufferer of OCD,  professional organizer, and planner extraordinaire am late, almost daily. It's not because I don't care. It's not because I am lazy. It's not because I just lay in bed for an hour every morning. It's because most days, I really can't help it.

Aside from just annoying those around me, I have actually learned a few things from being late. You have to ignore people's judgments, or what you perceive as judgments. How many of us actually care when somebody else walks into class or church late? I don't automatically start thinking about what an awful person they are. Most likely people aren't thinking those things about me and if I think they are, I am the one putting that pressure on myself.

Get over yourself. Yes, it's awkward to walk into church 10 minutes late or to walk into class after your professor has taken roll. But I benefit more from being there, even if it isn't the whole class or service, than from staying home. Again, I have to forget what people think and focus on why I am there.

Appreciate what you get to do. Some days, I don't make it to class or church. So on the days I do, even if I am late, I appreciate being there. Walking in late and feeling awkward for a minute is worth it to hear beautiful singing and have fellowship with other Christians, or to learn something that will make me a better professional someday.

Make the most of each moment. Along with appreciating each opportunity, enjoy and make the most of it. I know class gets boring, but some people can't afford an education. Sure work can get annoying, but some people are wising for a job. Maybe you don't find the sermon that interesting, but in other countries, Christians are meeting in secret to avoid persecution. Each moment isn't the best of your life, but it doesn't have to be the worst. Just be happy.

Life is better lived with a smile.






Snowed in = slow down.

I've been awake since 6:30 am.
I can't breathe because of my sinus infection (which I get every two months).
My legs are aching because, yesterday, I decided to actually get out of bed.
My head is throbbing from a lack of sleep.
My stomach is turning because being up before 8 am always created nausea.

So I turn on Netflix.
I sit in the bathroom for a half hour.
I lay in bed, wishing I could go back to sleep.
I share saltine crackers with my cat.
I blog.
Because what else can you do?

While many of you have been complaining about the snowy tundra that has taken over our Kentucky home, I have secretly been thankful for the "bad" weather. See, I don't let my illnesses slow me down. If school is in, I am there. If my activities are on, I participate full force. I only stay home when the physical pain of getting out of bed is greater than emotional pain of missing out on life.

I started feeling bad Saturday night with sinus issues. (Which could be fixed more easily if my doctors would only listen to me, but that is another story for another day.) Sunday, I was having difficulty breathing and sniffled all through church, but I was fine. When school was canceled for Monday, I was happy because I was thankful for a day to rest. I woke up Monday, around noon, feeling awful. I barely left my bed all day. Tuesday was basically the same story. Yesterday, I finally felt well enough to clean my room and bake, but apparently it was too much for my body to handle.

I literally cannot leave my house because of the weather. It is just now a possibility, but with the sub-zero temperatures today, I think I will stay inside. I've never heard of a university canceling classes for a week, but I am so grateful for the time off. I know I am sick for a variety of reasons: the ever-changing Kentucky weather, my inability to rest, my overwhelmed schedule, my weak immune system, and the millions of germs going around right now.

If I would have had a normal schedule this week, I know I would have been much sicker. I would have been miserably gone to class, work, Bible study, church, SAA, and other activities. Sometimes, I think God provides these opportunities to make me slow down. Maybe He didn't flood the entire state in snow and close down a university just for me, but I still count it as a blessing.

Don't feel bad for being lazy while you're snowed in. Rest, relax, bake, watch Netflix, play with your cat, take a bubble bath, do whatever makes you feel better. Never feel bad for taking care of your body and for enjoying the slower times. They don't happen too often.