A few weeks ago, I had the joy of volunteering with Madison County 4-H Camp as an adult counselor. This was my seventh year attending camp and my second year as an adult volunteer. I know the routine of camp well and I enjoyed every moment.
Of course with my medical issues, camp was very interesting. I visited the health care provider on site four times a day for medication. (I tied for 'most medications' with 10 different prescriptions.) The HCP and I were on a first name basis by the end of day one. Barbara was great and even gave me a hot pack when my shoulder pain became too much to bear.
Luckily, I have grown up with our wonderful 4-H agents and they know me and my medical conditions very well. They gave me a job at camp where I could be inside the only air conditioned building and have a little extra time to rest in the afternoons. I also had some great friends at my side through camp who understood what I could do and helped me with the things I couldn't. My mom was also there which of course helps anybody to feel better-knowing their mommy is nearby.
The camp week was great thanks to all these amazing individuals and the girls in my cabin, who were so much fun! Despite my usual aches and pains, I made it through the week only a little sleep deprived and extremely exhausted.
Things were great, but on the last night, I had a fall. I was returning to my cabin after taking a shower and grabbing a snack in our counselor lounge. Due to my own issues and some poorly lit stairs, I fell. Hard. I missed the bottom step, when I landed my ankle gave out and I found myself standing on the outside of my ankle. Then I heard a pop from my bad knee as I hit the pavement. All of this happened in about a second and a half, but it plays in slow motion over and over again in my mind.
Luckily two of those people who know me well were with me when it happened. They were at my side immediately, sitting on the ground with me somehow knowing just what to do. The other people around went into a panic, rattling off medications, bandaids, ice, and people they could get to help. "I'm fine," I muttered through tear filled eyes. Crying because of the physical pain and hoping nothing was sprained, but also because it was at that moment that I again realized, I'm not like everybody else.
My 4-H agent while kneeling beside me asked where my knee brace was and then told me I wasn't allowed to cry because he would too. (He also admitted that my blog sometimes makes him cry too. Sorry!) This made me laugh a little, but for whatever reason I still couldn't stop crying.
One of my best friends, also sitting beside me, sat silently, but I knew he was there and that was all I needed. I don't think I have ever seen anyone appear at my side so quickly and make their presence known without saying much at all.
After wiggling my ankle and knee, I put out my hands and was helped to my feet. I was trying to make a quick escape to avoid the strangers around me seeing me cry, but my friend wouldn't let me leave without a hug, which only produced more tears. I hobbled back to my cabin, tears flowing freely. Thankfully my cabin was asleep, except mom who immediately had a supposed-to-be-an-adult, crying Stacie in her arms.
Yes, it was just a fall. I trip constantly, but I usually catch myself. I fall down, but it doesn't hurt so much. I laugh it off, but this time it was just different. I lost a little pride (and some movement in my ankle).
Sometimes it's okay to fall down. Sometimes it's okay to take a hand and take some help. Sometimes it's okay to cry. And sometimes it's okay to not be okay. But it's never okay to not stand back up.
No comments:
Post a Comment