She's aliiiiive.

It's day 9 of my 10 day quarantine. It appears the world has kept on spinning without me and I have missed the first week of November. What a shame. Some celebrities ate at some restaurant and had their photo taken and posted to some website. Some teams won some sporting events. Some professors assigned some homework. Some weather happened. Some election took place. Or so I'm told.

In the last ten days, I have seen a total of five people aside from the dozens of doctors and hospital personnel (and the friends who let me sleep on their couch that I briefly saw for five minutes while I was high on morphine. Thanks again for your love and comfy couch). I'm not complaining, really. I needed the time to heal. Also in the last ten days, I've received phone calls, texts, messages, emails, Facebook posts, cards, and letters all with well wishes and prayers. I feel so loved and I thank everyone who has checked on me or sent up a prayer on my behalf.

You don't know dependence on another person until you have had to be held upright while you sit on the toilet, have bath time supervised, ask someone else to wash and dry your hair, have every meal, snack, and drink prepared and brought to your bedside, be handed the medication that is two inches out of your reach, or be dressed while you lay on your bed crying in pain. I see why the elderly don't want to move into nursing homes. I have seen a glimpse of my future and I do not like it. Hopefully, any more permanent dependence is at least five decades away.

I feel as though I have done nothing for the past week. Not that I could, really. But for someone who enjoys a busy lifestyle, I have felt lazy to just lay here, alternating taking medications, sleeping, and watching Netflix. It was like a vacation from life that I didn't plan or ask for. But most often in my sickly life journey, I don't get to decide when to rest and take a few days break, but rather, it is decided for me. So maybe, I just needed the rest. I should be caught up on sleep for the rest of the semester. Maybe since I was so sick this last week, I will get to skip being sick for finals week, as I always am. It hasn't failed yet, but I am already praying it does.

Being sickly takes its toll on you, physically and mentally. My body should be well rested, but my spirit is exhausted. I feel weak and frail. I feel a little down. I feel no desire to get up, do homework, or do anything besides continue in my Netflix binge watching and sleeping. I'm tired. I'm worn. I'm hoping a busy week and some time with friends, starting Monday, will be just what I need to perk back up. I've been told repeatedly that everyone has missed my smiling face, but I have missed the faces that make mine happy. I'm a people person. I'm energized by those around me. And when I feel like giving up, it's my family and friends who make me want to keep going. Although my body can't always take my busy schedule, my mind and soul need to be occupied by all the good around me. I live for the good.

So although it appears that I have fallen off the face of the earth, don't worry - I will return soon. I will return with my bossy nature, my overly scheduled life, my color coded calendar, my long rants about my day, my drama queen attitude, my annoying willingness to plan not only my activities, but yours as well, and my need to organize the planet. But just let me be for a few days. Let me reacclimate to my life. Let me enjoy being a little too organized, a little too planned, a little too bossy, and a little too social. Because I have sure missed it.