And though my health may fail...

When it rains, it pours. I don't think that statement has ever been truer than it was a few hours ago. 

Sometimes when I finish an antibiotic, I get sick immediately after with the same symptoms.

Sometimes my "bad knee" (or should I say my worse knee) acts up, causing discomfort. 

Sometimes this one place on my back hurts, despite the constant medication, tens unit, hip brace, heat, pain patches, and rest. This creates severely limited mobility, due to the terrible pulling feeling and all the medical equipment I pile on to help it. 

Sometimes my stomach hurts badly and I writhe in pain. 

Sometimes my headaches are so bad, I feel as though my head with implode. 

Sometimes I wake up in pain, crying, and praying to just make it to the end of the day. 

Sometimes I send "pray for me" texts to my friends, just because I need to know I have a little extra help that day. 

Sometimes I have to crawl back into bed and cancel my day. 

Sometimes people just don't understand. 

All of those sometimes are today. 

While I am quite used to pain, discomfort, and dislocations, I am not used to feeling so low. I'm always happy, I keep a smile on my face. But sometimes, I just can't do it. Today I can't. Today, I am a lot slower and a little less happy. Today, I feel down. Today, I need some extra prayer.

I'm not a sad person. I'm constantly told how strong I am and that I don't feel sorry for myself. But sometimes I do. Sometimes I just need someone to hold my hand and tell be that it will be okay. I need someone to assure me that the world will wait on me and time will stand still until I'm better. But they can't, because it won't. 

So today, I lay in bed, knowing the world is going on without me. Knowing that tomorrow, I will have a lot to do to catch up. But today, the quiz can wait. The presentation can wait. The paper can wait. Hanging out with friends can wait. Today, I will relax and try to get my body back into a functioning state. Today, I will have peace, knowing that tomorrow will come and it will be better. 

People say my blog posts are sad. And maybe they're right. Maybe I need to try to share the happy stuff too. But when I am sad and feeling sorry for myself, this is my way out, this is how I deal with it. This where I release the emotion, the tears, and the pain. This is where I can find some peace. And while those who read my blog can't possibly understand, they can still pray. So what I ask is that you pray for some pain relief. Pray for me to have peace of mind. Pray for tomorrow to be better.