Exactly one year ago I was ringing in the new year at Cleveland Clinic in the cardiac unit. I was high on pain medication, hooked up to monitors, and wearing my finest pajamas. My crew made it an occasion to remember with sparkling grape juice in fancy glasses, party poppers, and NYE hats. We took pictures, ate snacks, had a countdown, and made quite a bit of noise with our poppers and squealing. It's a wonder we didn't get kicked out of the hospital.
Tonight I am sitting in my own apartment with my new husband. No pain medications, no monitors, but I am wearing my finest pajamas. When I look down I see a mended heart and a ring on my finger, both reminders of the life that has been lived in the last year.
If I could summarize 2017 with one verse it would be:
"But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me."
-2 Timothy 4:17
I recovered from open heart surgery, but the Lord stood with me.
I laid in bed for three months, but the Lord stood with me.
I went back to work, but the Lord stood with me.
I completed months of cardiac rehab, but the Lord stood with me.
I planned a wedding, but the Lord stood with me.
I made some life changing decisions, but the Lord stood with me.
I traveled to Cleveland, Tampa, Montego Bay, and all over Kentucky, but the Lord stood with me.
I dealt with migraines, pain, and dislocations, but the Lord stood with me.
I was depressed, angry, and weary, but the Lord stood with me.
Yes, 2017 was full of life - both hills and valleys. Because despite all the hard things, so many good things happened too.
I got a new aorta that removes so much worry from my life.
I learned to be still, quiet my soul, and wait.
I worked hard. I made a difference.
I had a beautiful wedding - a day that was what I had always dreamed of. I gained more family and an amazing husband.
I saw new and exciting parts of our world.
I learned patience, acceptance, and contentment.
I was cared for, supported, and so so loved.
2017 wasn't at all what I thought it would be. It isn't the experience that brides usually have when they plan their wedding. It isn't usually what cardiac patients would experience during recovery. It was different. It was hard. It was beautiful. It made me laugh and cry at the same time. It made me call out to Jesus for healing and relief. It made me wallow and feel sorry for myself. It was exciting. It was new. It was exactly where I needed to be, exactly what I needed to experience to get to.. here: looking forward to the rest of my life, praising Jesus for my life, and hopeful that 2018 will be just as wonderful (but maybe not as exciting.)
Here's to 2018.
