This is day number 8 in bed, but now I am feeling SO much better. That's a big step up from crying hysterically from pain and nausea or almost punching a nurse in the ER for giving me a shot and strep test... Not my finest moments. But sometimes we have to experience those not so great moments to appreciate the okay ones.
I'm not sure why exactly I got so sick. I'd like to think God was protecting me from something or perhaps there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. Lately after bouncing from doctors to doctor, dealing with the daily struggles of life, and learning to walk through the trials of my medical problems, I got a little down. I got sad. I got a little angry. You know those people who had one bad thing happen to them and then after that they are changed, asking God how He could allow that to happen, and refusing to have the same happiness they experienced before? That's the person I don't want to be. That's the person I refuse to let lead my life, control my happiness, or direct my future. I know with God that I am far too good for that.
But sometimes I still get a little downtrodden dealing with this life, but I mean... who doesn't? Life is tough. So maybe this was God's way of showing me how good I really have it. When I start to feel sad, I always remind myself of just how much worse things could be. I have it made compared to how so many people live, especially in my health.
A few days ago towards the middle and worst part of this sickness, I crawled out of bed to go to the bathroom. I couldn't even stand up straight from the aches and pains my body was experiencing, it hurt to breathe, and I felt like death. I looked in the mirror at my frail and humped over body and began to cry. But in that moment of questions how I could feel so terribly, so sick, and so sad, I have never been more thankful for my broken body, my defective heart, and my aching joints. Through my tears, I prayed thanking God for the health I do have, that I don't have to experience pain to this severity every day, and then asked for His continued healing.
Thank God everyday for your health. Thank Him that you can see, talk, hear, walk, move, sing, dance, and praise His name. You never know when you may lose the ability to do any one of those things. I don't think we appreciate these simple tasks enough. Having this sickness and being bedridden for just eight days has made me think about it all. What about those who are secluded to a bed for their entire lives, those who use a wheel chair as their legs, or those who use a cane or stick as their eyes? I am truly blessed.
This Christmas all I wanted was to feel better, but in feeling so sick I was reminded of what Christmas is about. Christmas isn't the new clothes, shoes, or Kitchen Aid that I received. (Although I am VERY excited to bake once I am well!) Christmas is so much more. This Christmas was my friends and family's prayers for my health. It was my sister fixing my hair so we could take Christmas pictures because I didn't have the strength to. It was my family Christmas Eve dinner where I had solid food for the first time in days. It was the funny pictures we took around the tree. It was the long distance phone call with my someone special. It was the pallet my sister made me to lay on so that I could be with my family to open presents. It was my mom laying in bed with me talking to me until 4 AM because I couldn't sleep alone. It was my Grandad's smile, my Dad's hug, my brother-in-law's jokes, my baby cousin's laugh. It was family. It was memories. It was thankfulness for my many blessings.
What blessings did you get for Christmas this year?
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