-Psalm 139:14
Sometimes I don't feel fearfully and wonderfully made. When I wake up in the mornings and painfully roll out of bed, I don't feel wonderful. When I have to stop walking because my heart is pounding, I don't feel amazing. When I trip and fall because my ankle gave out, I don't feel great. When I cry out in pain again and again, I certainly don't feel like a carefully crafted piece of art handmade by God.
Sometimes I don't feel fearfully and wonderfully made. When I wake up in the mornings and painfully roll out of bed, I don't feel wonderful. When I have to stop walking because my heart is pounding, I don't feel amazing. When I trip and fall because my ankle gave out, I don't feel great. When I cry out in pain again and again, I certainly don't feel like a carefully crafted piece of art handmade by God.
But I am.
Often times when these things happen or I have to explain why I can't
go on the roller coaster or bumper cars, play tag, do a kart wheel, go
bowling, go skydiving or bungee jumping, or even just sprint, I answer
simply with "God made me special". I say it jokingly. I say it as a
way to not explain my every ache or pain. I say that when I trip and
everybody turns and looks. I say that when I am trying to tell people
what is wrong with me and get nothing but a blank stare. God made me
special. Even though I say it jokingly or sometimes to get people to
stop asking questions, it is definitely true. But sometimes I have
trouble remembering that. It's hard to feel special when you hurt so
badly.
But no matter what I feel, God still made me... and God doesn't make
junk. God makes special treasures. God places his hand upon each
person, He creates them with special characteristics unique to them,
and He crafts them for specific goals and a specific purpose. I'm just
still trying to find mine. But while I am searching I can always take
comfort in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think
towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give
you a future and a hope." God has a plan. I pray it's big. I pray it's
wonderful. I pray it is life changing. I pray it makes the pain worth
it.
God's word tells me that I am made in His image. Really? I have always
been taught that, always said it, always believed it, and never really
thought about it. It's hard to imagine being anything like a
supernatural being that is beyond perfect. It's hard to feel like God
when I feel so broken. But somehow I am like my Lord. I have some
traits like my heavenly father and he thinks I am beautiful.
When I get to Heaven, I can't wait to run and hug God and talk with
Him and compare what things I have that are like His image. I can't
wait for Him to tell me how he made me, how he decided what traits to
give me, and why He decided to make me "special". I especially can't
wait to see the hyper extended elbows of Jesus.
...Because Jesus must have EDS too.
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