Count your many blessings, name them one by one.

When I think of my alllllll of my medical conditions, I don't usually think of them being blessings in my life. In fact, I think the opposite. Sometimes when I am feeling sorry for myself, I question why I even have these problems. I think "this isn't fair." But is that really the attitude I should have? No, it isn't at all.

Thursday morning at school, I was coming out of class not feeling the greatest, like usual. My back was killing me, my feet hurt from walking, and my legs ached. I saw the elevator was about to leave so I walked quickly to catch it. I jumped in just in time and almost hit the only other passenger who was taking up almost the entire elevator. I looked down and smiled at the other passenger who was sitting in his wheelchair. Immediately, I felt terrible for even being on the elevator. Sure I hurt almost anytime I move, but at least I can. As I stepped off the elevator not even thirty seconds later, this thought came to mind: "Even if that man hurt like me every time he took a step, I bet he would still do it. I bet her would give anything to be able to walk."

How selfish am I for complaining about walking. How selfish am I to complain about anything. Sometimes I think we get the mentality that God owes us something in this life. We get upset when we find out we have a medical problem, when things don't go our way, when it rains. All the while, somebody, somewhere is thankful for far less than what we have. God gave us way more than we could EVER ask for by sending His son to die for our sins. It was MY sin that put Jesus on the cross and it was HIS LOVE for me that held Him there. How could I ever ask for more than that? How could I ever be upset for God not giving me something else when He has given me life? He has literally given me everything. I don't think I have any right to be upset with Him.

This has made me decide to try to see the blessings in everything, but especially my medical conditions. I read a quote that said: "Everything is either a blessing or a blessing in disguise." How true this is. We don't always see it, but I believe a blessing comes from everything. So now, I will count ten blessings that have come from my medical conditions. Here goes...

1.) My medical issues have made me more appreciative of the little things in life. When I have a good day where I can do something to feel relatively normal, it is not just a good day, it is an amazing day. I love days like that and I appreciate them SO much.

2.) My medical problems have allowed me to connect with some amazing people. If not for my medical issues, I wouldn't be a part of support groups where I have met and became friends with some incredible people who share my same issues. I wouldn't have become such good friends with one particular person who I say is the only person who really 'gets' how I feel. And of course, I wouldn't know nearly as many doctors on a first name basis.

3.) My medical problems have forced me to lean on God. I can't tell you how many times I have broken down crying out to God because I am too overwhelmed to handle things on my own. On a weekly basis, I pray for the strength to keep going and make it through the day. Daily, I pray for God to relieve some pain I am having. If not for these issues, I don't know that I would depend on God so much. I don't know that I would come to Him daily asking Him for His help. I think it is because of my issues that I have learned to depend on Him. It is because that God has given me more than I can handle that I have been made to realize that I can't do it alone, He is on my team, and He WILL take care of me.

This quote says it best:

“I hear religious minded people say all the time with good intentions. ‘God will never place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it.’ Really? My experience is that God will place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it alone. He will break your back and your will. He will buckle your legs until you fall flat beneath the crushing weight of your load. All the while He will walk beside you waiting for you to come to the point where you must depend on Him.
‘My power is made perfect in your weakness,’ He says, as we strain under our burden. Whatever the burden, it might indeed get worse, but know this-God is faithful. And while we change and get old, He does not. When we get weaker, He remains strong. And in our weakness and humility, He offers us true, lasting, transforming, and undeserved grace.”

-Greg Lucas (Wrestling with an Angel)

Amen. That's all I can say.

4.) My medical problems have made me less judgmental. I used to be really terrible about judging others. Not that I don't still have my issues from time to time, it is a sin I struggle with and am continually working on. But now being on the other side of things, I am a little slower to judge. I try to assume the best and not get upset or irritated. I try to think, "what if I were them?"

5.) My medical problems have made me more determined to succeed. College is tough. It's tough enough when you are healthy; it is 50473873 times harder when you are facing it with a medical condition. I struggle. 

Every. 

      Single.

              Day.

But I will NOT give up. It would be easy to say, "I'm too sick for school." Quite frankly, I am. But I will not give up because I am even more determined to lead as normal life as possible. I am determined to continue to be the overachiever that I am and get my double major degree in Spanish and Public Relations.

6.) My medical conditions have made me happy. Strange, right? I know. But through acquiring all of these lovely medical problems, I have realized that I can sit and feel sorry for myself or I can do something, be something, and make something of all of this. And so I do. I face each day with a smile on my face because as far as I am concerned, I have every reason to be happy.

7.) My medical conditions have caused me not to be afraid. Okay, so honestly I am still kind of afraid sometimes. I am a work in progress. BUT by having all of these issues, I realize that God is in control. He will protect me, He will provide for me, and everything will happen in His time. I can't be afraid of heart surgery, or more diseases, or even death because God has a plan.

8.) My medical conditions have made me more open. Like how I just threw the word death in that last paragraph? Yeah, it makes most people uncomfortable. I try not to let any words make me feel awkward or uncomfortable. When you see multiple doctors each month to discuss various parts and regions of the body, you learn not to be awkward with that. In fact, sometimes I play a game to see if I can be more awkward than the doctor. Usually I get some laughs. Anyway, because of my conditions, I am an open book. 

9.) My medical conditions have humbled me. These issues have made me realize that it's not all about me. Other people have problems too. This world is about Jesus and others, not me. I pray for God to show His glory through me and my medical problems, because HE is what it is all about.

10.) My medical conditions have allowed me to help others. I pray for God to fulfill His purpose in me and through my medical issues. I strongly believe that one of my biggest purposes is to help other people with similar conditions. Sometimes people need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, someone to sympathize with them, and even someone to make some jokes and let them know it is okay to laugh. Whatever their need is, I pray that I can help them. I often find myself meeting people just like me an praying that God will give me and opportunity to be a friend to them. I have had others walk me through so many things and so I want to be that light to whoever God places in my path.

So you see, having a few medical conditions isn't all bad. In fact, I bet you are jealous of all these awesome blessings I have aren't you? You are probably also jealous of my awesome sense of humor. No, don't be jealous of either. God gives us each a special and unique walk of life. He gives us exactly what we need to grow and become the person that he created us to be. So take a look at your life and count your many blessings.